And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
