On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
