I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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