He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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