I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
