So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
