What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
