I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
