You work out of a Hotel?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
