oh god the rape fog is back!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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