This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
