I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
