We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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