Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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