she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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