Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
