it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
