Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
