I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
