And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
