Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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