Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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