What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
