No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
