Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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