well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
