Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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