he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
