my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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