Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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