I hate all girls vehemently.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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