Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
