It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Screwed.edu
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
