This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
