My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
