I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
