this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
