you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How does it feel to date your dad?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
