so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
