Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Randomize
