He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
