Kiss
Puke
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
