She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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