dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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