I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
