I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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