I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
