i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
