Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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