she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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