Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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