is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
