I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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