he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
