I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
